Thursday, December 4, 2008

out with the old, in with the boring

My life is now nowhere near half as exciting as it used to be. I settled down, got a boyfriend, left a job, and moved 180 miles east (with aforementioned boyfriend).

Once again, at home, jobless, no prospects in sight. No ideas going off either, since leaving "job" meant that i lost my probationary certificate to teach. I'd have to do it all again, and quite honestly, there's no point. Kids suck. Bare minimum, prepubescent hormonal one of the male kind do. Don't get me wrong, it was fulfilling from time to time, but it still sucked balls for the vast majority.

Craigslist it is!

aaaannnnddd i hate people.

Monday, July 30, 2007

roadtrip deluxe

I went on a road trip through the rocky mountains, it was glorious.

I started my travels going west on I-10 allll the way to phoenix (mesa), arizona. I got to spend some time with my old college roomie.

I was at a rest stop in arizona, and I was looking at my map, trying to figure out how much farther I had left to go. I got out of my car to use the facilities, and this rather unsavory looking gentleman attempted to talk to me. I completely ignored him and went in to the bathroom. I finished up and came back out, and the guy has MOVED his car directly next to MINE, and then he says to me, "hey, do you know where you're going?" I looked at him with all the haughtiness I could muster and say with the clearest and least accented voice imaginable, "Yes. aaaand no speako english." and then I promptly drove away.

If New Jersey is the devil's armpit, then New Mexico is definitely the devil's asshole. Stupid desert. It's not even pretty. No wonder the aliens haven't come back.

Colorado is the most gorgeous state, but my nose wouldn't stop bleeding the entire time. Stupid elevation.

Arizona is so hot that my shoes don't fit there. It was still a great time. You should go! Just make sure you have air conditioning and RedBull if you decide to drive.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

They trust me with your children

I'd like to start this blog with a story. A series premiere, if you will.

Once upon a time (a year ago), I graduated from a very well-known (for alcohol and football) university in a quadrilateral state up north. My degree was in communications. We're not speaking of the communications degrees which quickly come to mind- that is, the trifecta of journalism, mass comm and PR. no, my degree was in the much less glamorous and slightly more boring speech communications. I spent four years learning about how people talk to each other. Let's just say that i graduated with a undeclared double major - the other was in liver and brain cell destruction.

I've got "extra-curricular" stories like you wouldn't believe. hell, i don't believe them sometimes, but things just seem to happen to me. i'm positive you'll hear some sooner or later. but that is not what i'm writing about... today.

For the last year, I've worked a lot of really random jobs. I sold weight-loss products (touted to be from a certain city in california commonly abbreviated to two letters... total scam, btw), kitchen gadgets, ham, home and car insurance, and i spent a few months as a bank teller too.

About two months ago, my life turned completely upside down. I moved out of my comfortable living situation and moved back home to a large city in south/central texas known for it's mexican immigrant population and basketball team... and now i live with my parents. I promised myself in college that this would never happen. I never intended to come back to this place. too many people know me. I enjoyed the anonymity of the northeast; i could get myself into some absolutely insane situations without worrying that i'd embarrass my father.

So there I was, living in my parents house, jobless, with no prospects in sight. Then suddenly, like lightning, an idea popped into my head. i thought to myself, "why don't you teach for a while?" I happen to be on the ins with a principal at a local Catholic middle/high school. He's a very close family friend. Catholic schools here don't require a teaching certificate, just a degree. I called him up and asked for a job and he gave me one. I was hired to teach english to middle school boys for the upcoming school year.

Think about this. i was not an education major. I had no formal teaching training. i don't even know if i really like kids. i mean, i like kids, they're cute and stuff... but every day? as a profession? not to mention the tiny inconsequential detail that I'LL BE TEACHING PUBESCENT HORMONAL TEENAGE BOYS. i've got no problems in the "sleeping with guys my age" department, so this won't turn into a mary kay letourneau story. i only date men that are old enough to buy me a drink. or five. i don't want to put you off, but I'm attractive, i'm not gonna lie. wish me luck ;)